Hola! I'm back in Erfurt, the land of dreams. It was sad leaving Jena and also weird because once again, I only transferred within the same district. But actually, this transfer over half of our zone changed! So I have been in this zone longer than anyone else by like 4 months, at least. Zone empress. That's me.
It was funny being back in the branch because, well, I didn't really need to introduce myself to anyone. I got lots of half hugs from the old men of the branch :P There's like a club of grandpas that are so legit.
Ok, I learned the coolest thing this week. There's this talk by F. Enzio Busche called Unleashing the Dormant Spirit, a BYU devotional. And from that and my personal study, I finally figured out what it means that the word of God is "quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
That's really intense, and I just never really understood how God (or Christ, in D&C) could be a two-edged sword. It cuts into our soul and discerns our hearts.
In Luke 14:33, Christ says, "whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple." That's pretty harsh, but there it is. Elder Busche said "Christ is literally cutting a knife into our soul, making it clear to us that there is no middle way and that we have always to ask ourselves where exactly we stand. When we can, with honest reflection, says: "Yes, I am a disciple of Christ, I'm willing to sacrifice my own will, my habits, attitudes, and selfish desires, and endure the hurt and pain that such reflections cause, and bring to him as a sacrfiice a broken heart and a meek spirit, then will be baptize us 'with fire and with the Holy Ghost', and we will not be deceived."
Now, he was talking about how to not be deceived. But what I learned is that we are all in this world, and we have habits, attitudes, and desires that are not God's. These have been building up in our hearts for a really long time. Christ wants to heal those things, but they've been there so long that He has to break the heart so He can reset it, and it can heal properly. Like a poorly healed bone. It hurts, but He, just like a doctor, knows it's better for us that way. And so the word of God is a surgical knife. It hurts, but it's the only way for us to become whole.
It's kinda weird opening an area when we're 98% sure it'll be closed again, but we made great plans to focus on service and finding people who we can give to the elders when we leave. It's nice knowing that we have a very small amount of time. We made really finite, achievable goals that are keeping us focused and energized. We've also cleaned up the edges of our obedience to the mission rules to go out with a bang on the blessings front. It's been a little annoying but mostly it's been so much easier to just decide, "If the white handbook says not to, I won't; if it says to, I will." Much less time wasted on being unsure if something is ok. I really like it.
I love you and am looking forward to going to President Schwartz's final Zone Conference tomorrow :( Pray for the Stoddards that they get here safely and get established quickly!
Sister Teusch
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